hopeful-encumbrance

inherit this parrot of seventeen-- this merit of anxious (excel)lency spread across spreadsheets bedsheets and cold feet    preening itself    in constant fear of    being a deadbeat my beak is dripping from fighting with the feathers that don't fit    the constant clamour    to color-code my cardinal    calamity feels like bird    shit

i draw stars that dance with the freckles on your arms while you plant flowers in my stomach and let the vines squeeze me in two    but this kudzu    seeded within    aligning my spine    with yours    lacks a distinct    sense of    suffocation our songbird dispositions hum in harmony    the beating wings of    our hearts    melodizing with    the stuttering    singing from our    throats i stare at the popcorn ceiling and listen to your gentle breathing as you fall asleep other the phone    angrily asking    myself why i am    letting myself    fall for you    so easily but when the sun peeks through the cotton laye

a green ocean bivouac leaves fluttering against the cerulean sky    dark doe eyes    glazed and grazing    upon the bountiful earth the ghost of the moon hangs in daylight a hush in the valley all is    calm all is    safe a twig snaps the crackle of leaves then everything is blurred lights horns and hooves upturned and a herd forty-nine strong slips into the dirt blood seeping brilliant crimson painting the grass the survivors limp away    while oaks crane    their branches    peering down upon    the carnage no shock, no hysteria as if it was expected as if it was    normal soft creaks moans fill the forest and a man on t

spiderweb hands stick to me and we are in the van windows fogging up    your sister has    heroin needles    scattered around    the floorboards the sun spills it's way onto my bare chest and i wonder why being in love feels so    empty we're in bedrooms that aren't ours with paintings of jesus on the walls    you bruise my    hipbones and call    it art    your watercolor    daydream when we break up you paint your hair the shade of the sky and draw me with (t)horns raised up on the wooden cross my limbs writhing    not ready    not ready    not ready    to bleed stuck with your hard wood jammed into my spine ohoho